It is in loss that we often find the best of ourselves.
Now, no one ever wants to be without the things or people that surround them, even if they are in some way, harmful to us. If we are being honest about it, no one really wants their comfort zone or normal messed with.
Yet, life waits upon no one and without our consent or agreement, situations arise and we find ourselves without people and things that are or once were valuable and cherished.
What happens then?
What do we do?
This is the moment where our heads and hearts are rarely in agreement. We can be filled with a whole host of shoulds and have-tos, most of which are designed to take care of our feelings or of our self-importance; the things we can easily convince ourselves that we are owed.
Our comfort is something we frequently choose to believe is owed to us.
That thing or person we lost should not have happened. At all.
It is inconvenient.
It is rude.
And, it happens all the same.
In those moments, we have a choice; what to do with that loss. We can choose to either hold onto what would be, in our view, the most comfortable or familiar situation as if it were the best that we could ever expect or…
We can embrace what will be.
Now, that is a scary thought.
It is in that moment, the one where you understand no one is going to tell you what to do or worse, one where we don’t have any plan that we find the wonder of the heroic in our lives.
In our world, we like heroes. They are larger than life, smarter than smart, and resilient like none other.
They go where we can’t and sacrifice all without a thought for themselves.
Not us. Not me.
In my life, I have experienced a lot of loss. Some of it happened in the normal course of life, some against my wishes, and some, I chose.
I have walked away from thoughts of what was owed to me, embraced the loss and stepped forward into the what will be.
Because I had to. I had to live.
We do not recognize the moment of our heroism when we are doing it; all we know is that we have chosen to move forward with whatever we have in our hands and in our hearts, as pitiful or inadequate as that may seem at the time.
Thankfully, heroism and valor can be birthed with a very small amount of tinder.
That tinder can be found in our personal “must.”
Must is the great divider of our comfort zones. It is always outside of it and just far enough away that we can see the journey to it will be of some distance and some duration.
That first awkward, shaky step is the beginning of the path from the mundane to the heroic.
This is the thing: what fuels our mundane does not always survive our journey to the heroic.
Our heroism often requires that loss.
We cannot see all of the terrain and dangers of the mountain we must climb when we first begin but should your must be on the other side of that mountain, every bit of what makes up that climb will be worth it.
Who else is going to do that for you?
Who else is going to understand your must like you do?
Don’t be afraid to lose things in your life; it is in loss that you can find freedom and a well of strength that you might not have discovered had you stayed within your comfort zone.
Sometimes, it is more important to be our own hero than someone else’s.
Go forward and be your own.